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  • Steven Gardner

"Im doing this for my family" is horse sh**

Aggressive titles are fun, but seriously this one might sting a little.


Ive been coaching for a long time mostly for free but going on 3 years as my main profession and this one comes up a lot. "I owe it to my family to get right" or "I want to be able to play with my kids when im old" or "My husband/wife deserves me at my best" and maybe you've said one or two of these at some point. If your family is your "why" you've already lost. There, i said it! Before you click off this post thinking it's just some crazy, aggressive rant hear me out. I have YET to meet somebody who walks in and says these phrases who sticks to fitness which is unfortunate, but true. Ive rattled my brain on this and i think ive come up with some viable reasons for why.

  1. Your family already loves the out of shape version of you. Your husband/wife is married to you, your kids still love you, and unless your husband/wife is already hot and in shape they are in the same boat you're in. If they ARE hot and in shape you arent doing this FOR them, you're doing this to KEEP UP with them (very different)

  2. Unless the whole family is on board with changing your families dietary dynamic, those chicken nuggets and pizzas are always going to be there.

  3. Probably most important, YOU start to see results that you are very proud of but your partner who isnt working their fitness isnt, you will unintentionally destroy their sense of self worth. Comments such as "you're going to get all hot and shredded and find a NEW husband/wife who's better than me" will start to happen, maybe even questions about your new gym friends. Ive even commonly seen people start to schedule "family" things during peoples' gym times so that they HAVE to miss. Subsequently now the gym is the sole reason for your marital problems and all of a sudden doesnt seem worth it.

Don't get me wrong, just because your significant other doesnt want to get fit isnt a good reason to not start the gym entirely, it just shouldnt be your sole motivator to walk through those doors. Be honest with yourself, if you are scared because your sex life is getting worse or you cant do the things you used to be able to, THOSE are your motivations. Your internal motivators are ALL YOU NEED. That is the type of change that will spark inspiration in your family. LEAD BY EXAMPLE. The rest comes with time, be solid in your "why" and you'll never fail.


Coach Steven


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